This is my oldest friend Matt. We became friends during 7th grade when we both were on the basketball team. My mom was a single parent and often had to work late. Matt would invite me over after practice so I didn’t have to wait at school by myself. 

I was an only child but he’s like my older brother. I was his back up on the basketball team in high school and once we got to college his presence taught me how to grow up. He was always listening to people and I was always running my mouth. 

A few years ago he and the love of his life, Whitney, got married. 6 weeks ago they had their first child, Miller. At brunch I asked him, “What’s it feel like to be a father? Were you changed immediately when you first saw him?”

“I mean, I guess. Really what I felt when I saw him was relief because Whitney had been in labor for like 18 hours. And the last two she was pushing pretty much the whole time. I was just glad it was over because I was worried about her. But I tell you what’s crazy. Everyday I feel closer to him, I love him more and more. And I feel like it’s got to plateau at some point but right now it keeps going up and up.”

“You know, I was listening to Marianne Williamson the other day and she was saying that common perception is that the initial excitement of love is an illusion and that eventually reality sets in. She believes the opposite to be true. That the initial attraction is the truth and then we cloud that feeling with our projections and expectations of the other person to be everything for us. Maybe with kids you can keep expanding because you don’t expect anything from them and you’re just in the present.”

“I think that may be true. I know I fall into that way of thinking of ‘When we close on our house’ or ‘When I get that raise’ then things will be okay. But when I drive home from work and I think about Miller, I just think, ‘I’m going to have a good time with my buddy.’ And that’s all there is to it."