“The past two weeks, I don’t know what happened, I had a breakthrough in my relationship, and I’ve just been feeling so beautifully connected to my partner and in a loving space with him radically accepting both him and I…and our journey together. It’s been feeling so easy. And I feel overwhelmed with gratitude and love. I’m like ‘oh my god, I can’t believe this man is my man, he is so amazing and I feel so lucky that he wants to be with me.’ I love his family, everything about him is just…beautiful. He’s amazing. When I first met him I didn’t have that hit right away, it was a super slow cook.”

“It took me awhile to accept we were moving towards that direction. Once I felt it, it was on. We’re at the 8th month mark right now, and that’s a long time for me. I’m usually like 2 months and I’m out. I think I get avoidant and I don’t want to deal with all my shit, there’s so many different reasons. Anyways, I’m with him and I’m totally with him and I’m loving our time together…and we have three weeks of total bliss and I’m shocked by that because I’m super emotional and I’m very sensitive so things come up for me a lot in relationship.”

“I had a moment on Sunday when we went to this party and I wasn’t really into it, and he got triggered by me not being into it, and we just got into this big thing and I could feel it starting to brew. It was like ‘Fuck! This is the moment of the end of the bliss…not forever…but I could feel that that happy ease that I was clinging onto was slipping away from my fingers. Then I had a huge emotional break, like almost PTSD response to our conversation, and he was really supportive, but also kinda pulled away after…and then I felt anxious…so we’re like doing this anxious avoidant dance. Anyways, we never really quite…we still haven’t recovered and now it’s Tuesday and it’s like ‘Fuck!’ I just want it to be good again but I know we have to go through this…and we both have to learn what we did that wasn’t in our highest consciousness. It’s kind of exhausting but I do know that it will be…this is just a moment. Things happen…really good, amazing things pop out of nowhere and you get the grace of God and then suddenly shit just turns south. You wonder in the moment ‘What did I do to deserve this’ or ‘Why me? Why can’t I have a normal happy relationship like everyone else?’ which is totally not true. And then inevitably what goes up must come down, and what goes down must go back up. So you just have to sit with the shit and try an take care of yourself. Blah blah blah. That’s it.”

“It can be so triggering to people when you accept yourself because everyone wants to so badly. I’m working on it…I’m really working on it…and it’s such a…I don’t want to say painful process…but it’s like a total even combination of beauty and pain. What else are we gonna do here?”

“What it’s really about is that we’re here to create. Whether that’s human life, whether that’s making delicious food, whether that’s painting or creating a podcast, or some beautiful building where people can have some shared experience. When that’s blocked off and you feel restricted that’s…tragic.”

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