“You seemed pretty tapped in to me, was there a specific moment when your spiritual awakening began?”

“The brightest moment for me was in 2012. I was not in a good place in my life. I was disoriented and kind of sleep walking through life and doing things that I thought I needed to be doing. Things society projected on us. I had a good job and I was getting out of a very unhealthy, unconscious relationship. The corporate job I was working for did some restructuring and I was not able to afford the lifestyle I was used to. I remember I went to the bathroom because I felt something happening to my body. Later I learned it was a panic attack. My whole body was shaking, I was sweating with tears running down my eyes. No control of my body at all. That was the moment I realized I was carrying a lot of things without processing or awareness. That was the moment I decided to change lots of things in my life and pay more attention to my spirit and my body. Still pay attention to my mind, but have it as a navigator. That was the moment when I really started taking care of myself and nurturing myself in the way that I should be nurtured. Yeah, that was the moment. It was a wake up call through the body. A wake up call you couldn’t deny.

I feel like everything is in our body. Our intuition, our wisdom, and so many things are stored not only in our minds, but in our hearts and our bodies. I feel like the body sends you signals every moment, but you don’t pay attention so when we’re not tuned in as much, the body will make a call you can’t deny. You have to pick it up. So that was the call for me.”

“What were some of the things you started incorporating into your life?”

“I started doing yoga. Started slowing down. I started learning about my boundaries. Saying no to things. Saying no to unhealthy relationships, toxic environments and substances. Just anything that was not serving me anymore. I started doing meditation and being in nature way more. Coming back to myself and all the tools you always have access to. Sometimes you have to be very lost to come back to the things you always have access to.”

“I can relate to that. Sometimes the pain is what causes us to wake up.”

“Yeah, my mantra lately has been ‘do less and allow more’. Whatever gets me to the moment of stillness inside, of alignment and balance, and state of flow where I’m not mentalizing the process, and just doing and being, and becoming a vessel for something greater. You can get there through dance, or serving tea, or making love, but meditation and yoga was the entry point for me to experience that state of flow.”

“What kind of meditation practice do you do?”

“Recently a community member, Dhaval, came up with a really cool way to engage in mediation and still be connected to your tribe. It’s this app Sphere I’ve been using and I really enjoy the way it makes mediation a collective process. I started using the app a month ago and I love the way it separates mind, body, and spirit through different programs you can follow. You can go really in-depth with the breath, or your body and learn a new posture. In only ten minutes you can really experience that sense of stillness. There is very simple, gentle instructions that allow you to be guided but still have your own experience.”

“I believe the teacher will find you when you’re ready. My path brought me to a beautiful ceremony at a festival and I was so touched that I had to approach the man who led the ceremony to express my gratitude and interest in his offerings. Turns out he lives in the bay area and does sweat lodges and teaches at the Institute of Indigenous Pathways. It’s a school of life generally. He has programs from anywhere from 9 months to 10 years. I’m about to start my apprenticeship with him in a few days. It’s a 2 year program of learning the medicine. Learning indigenous wisdom. Learning the practices, rituals, prayers, and songs to honor the Earth and honor the lineage and ancestors so I can deepen my understanding of generations and wisdom and pass that to my children.”

“Thank you.”

“Thank you too. I feel like it’s all about healing. I’m carrying so much baggage from past generations. We all do really, but I definitely want to take ownership and transform it because if we don’t transform that it’s going to be transferred and I don’t want to transfer that to my future generations.”

“And where are you from?”

“I’m from Russia.”

“What are some of the things you feel like you’re transforming?”

“A lot of pain and struggle due to the first and second world war. Generational oppression of women. Just pain. In my immediate family we’ve had alcoholics, there’s a lot of toxic environments for sure. Still I think I had a very happy childhood and I’m very thankful. That’s the path that I’m walking. It’s made me who I am. I’m not blaming my family for passing me anything, they just didn’t know. The level of my awareness allows me really to see what consequences can follow if I do not work on myself.”

“That’s a strong choice not only for you but for generations to come.”

“Thank you.”

“What do you feel like your greatest strengths are?”

“I feel like inspiring people and motivating people and seeing deeper than they can see is one of the secret weapons I carry. I feel like I can see the core and truth that they’re still searching for and put some light in those areas in a very gentle, loving, supportive way. I’m not trying to fix people or add anything to their experience, but just hold space for their evolution and their transformation. I’m definitely the soft, calming, peaceful presence. I’ve picked up tea, and herbs, and oils. All the things that bring people to the state of slowing down.”

“With your ability to see deeply, do you have any reflections for me to share?”

“Sure. What I see in you is…I started to recognize that there are a lot of kinds of light workers on the planet, but there is a very specific kind that I am drawn to connect with. It’s the humble warrior. Someone who serves out of joy, just because it’s their full authentic decision. What I see in you is someone who is lighting themselves so bright, that it’s like a light beacon. Someone who is creating so much light inside themselves that it inspires other to let their spirit shine through. So you’re not as selfless as a lot of people are, but you’re what you’re generating inside yourself is enough for everyone else.”

“Thank you.”

“So that’s what I appreciate about you. You have very strong boundaries and a very strong sense of self. It seems like in any given moment you know exactly what you want and what’s best for yourself. What feels aligned and what doesn’t feel aligned. I like how connected you are to your truth and I know how much work it takes too. So you’re definitely eager to work and to grow and to heal and to transform others.”

“Thank you for that reflection.”

“Yeah.”

“And last question, how do you like to be loved and supported?”

“I feel the biggest gift we can give each other as human beings is full unconditional presence and ability to witness each other in our true nature. To meet each other where we’re at not trying to fix each other and not trying to project expectations, but just honoring everyone’s path and process. I get the most love and support when people see me. So being a witness is very powerful and that’s something I try to cultivate everyday in interactions with people. Just that presence that says ‘Hey, I know it’s hard to be a human being, I know sometimes it sucks, but I see you, I’m with you, I honor you, I love you and keep doing what you’re doing.’ That’s it, that’s the best.”

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