Matt Payne


“Before my first daughter was born I was experiencing a lot of anxiety. I was partying a lot and the lifestyle I was living definitely wasn’t suited to being a father. It was good though because it made me question a lot of the things I was doing unconsciously and decide if I wanted to keep doing them. I knew I wanted to be more present so I could fully experience the blessing of getting to be a father. By the time my second daughter came my life was completely different and I felt prepared to show up in the right way.”


“I just stopped working at a place I had been for 20 years. When I first started there it was great. I had good security and felt like I knew my path. And then I was up for a promotion and started thinking about all the things I could do to get that promotion, and once I got it my lifestyle changed a bit, but I didn’t fully enjoy it because I was thinking about how to get the next promotion. It was this constant cycle of living outside of myself in anticipation of something better. Eventually I realized I was just making myself crazy and that nothing was going to be any better than it was right now. And it was up to me to be fully alive now. So that’s what I’ve been doing. And now I’m free.”


June 27, 2019