Nick Trautman
“What are you top 3 priorities in your life right now?”
“Self-improvement. That’s always been a buzz word that people use but I’ve always been passionate about learning things and usually that didn’t correspond to what I was being taught in school or whatever, so I kind of gravitated to people who were into teaching themselves things and improving their lives and getting better. That’s the thing I spend the most time on in my day to day. I just got married so my wife is pretty high on that list.”
“When’d you get married?”
“In November of the year before last, so a year and change.”
“How has your life changed since you got married?”
“Since I got married not that much, but when I met my wife I’ve straightened out my priorities quite a bit. She’s really turned me into somebody who is achieving goals rather than just writing them on pieces of paper.”
“What are a couple of things you’ve accomplished since meeting her?”
“I quit a dead end job just before meeting her and she got me to realize I’m capable of doing what I set my mind to. That led to getting this job with Bloom Farms. I’ve helped create 5 or 6 different positions almost out of nothing and I feel really proud of that. I’m the best version of myself around her, or at least the best version I’ve figured out yet.”
“What do you do for Bloom Farms?”
“I am in outdoor sales so I sell products and maintain relationships with people who work in dispensaries. Just building human relationships with people so they can put a face to our great products. Obviously, you have to have great things to sell but we’re very interested in building community and breaking down stigma.”
“So that was 2 priorities, got 1 more?”
“Yeah, this falls under self-improvement but allowing myself to be vulnerable with people and approach the truth with people. I’ve lived my life pretty guarded. I’ve got my reasons, everybody’s got their reasons but recently it’s been an important focus to be authentic with people.”
“I’m big into vulnerability. That’s what this project is all about. It’s how you access power and also learn about things.”
“For sure. I look at old notebooks and sometimes it’ll be the same time of year that I’m learning the same lesson.”
“I have that experience too.”
“It’s a real process. I feel like your own real mission is to leave this world a little better, and to do that you have to make yourself a little bit better.”
“Aho. What’s something you lose time doing?”
“Probably when I’m writing. I can go for hours. Got a lot of thoughts rolling around in my head.”
“What kind of writing do you do?”
“I do mostly stream of consciousness stuff but it ends up being a lot of jokes and funny shit that people enjoy. It’s usually things I wouldn’t say in front of people.”
“Do you ever perform?”
“Sadly I only ever talk in front of people at funerals, but I’m really good at that so…”
“You’re good at consoling people or?”
“I think I’m good at pointing out the ridiculous nature of a lot of things we do and bringing a perspective that isn’t necessarily the right one. People cracking up at a funeral isn’t the way things are supposed to go but I find a lot of enjoyment in making people laugh.”
“What’s one of your dreams for the next 5 years of your life?”
“I’ve never been financially stable and that’s not something I would have thought would have been a dream, but you can’t win the game if you’re not playing it. You’ve gotta play the game and making money is a part of that. It may be ‘the root of all evil’ but we all gotta pay our rent. I just want to hold true to my values while I create better things.”
“Right on. What’s one of the biggest lessons you’re trying to master now?”
“Going back to vulnerability it’s loving myself and allowing people to love me back. I’m allowing people to see the real me. Believing I’m worthy of being loved by people.”
“Yeah, I can relate. My parents got divorced when I was 2 and my dad wasn’t around so I think my abandonment issues and desire for connection get transferred onto my romantic relationships. When I really like someone I go in super hard but also think that the love I want can only be accessed by doing good things or giving. Which a lot of times turns into overgiving. But I’m learning how to stay in my center more.”
“Yeah, for men I think we obtain value from doing things and getting work done. That can be well and great and we have the best intentions but sometimes you sacrifice yourself in the process. I’ve been a pillar for people to lean against, but you have to have a strong foundation. You can’t let the foundation rot. I think that’s a problem for a lot of people. People need help learning to be how they’re supposed to be. I think it’s an epidemic dude.”
“The beautiful thing about this project is the people I come into contact with are usually speaking my truth. That definitely feels like the case now. Thanks for the reflection.”
“Yep, we’re all in this together. We’re all trying to figure shit out before we’re ready and all mirroring each other. I think that’s really comforting.”
“Me too brother. Me too.”
